He walked into the hospital, the features on his face smooth and calm, the complete opposite of his inner feelings. He was thinking a million thoughts and they blurred together, his heart was racing and adrenaline was coursing through his veins. He walked to the receptionist's desk and she looked up at him.
"Ah, yes. Major Alenko. Admiral Hackett said that you might be coming by to see Commander Shepard. He just got out of surgery and is in ICU," she explained to the Canadian. Kaidan's brow scrunched slightly, he wasn't exactly following. If they were going to tell him that he couldn't see John, they better be thinking again. "But," she sighed, noticing that Kaidan's curiosity had dissolved into stubbornness, "I guess we can make an exception with the visitation rules, just this once."
"Thank you," Kaidan gave his thanks and smiled. The nurse typed something into her terminal and looked at him. It was only a few seconds before his omni-tool lit up. He gave her a questioning look, not entirely certain as to what she was doing. The receptionist caught the confusion and found it within her best interest to clear the air.
"I have uploaded his room number to your omni-tool, don't be surprised if he's still asleep. He took quite a hit," she explained. The major nodded to her, and smiled at him in return. Without another word, Kaidan walked away. Opening his omni-tool, he read the digital holographic number and room information. The Intensive Care Unit was on the third floor, Shepard was in room B34. He found his way to an elevator that was on the far side of the hall. The console lit up and he pressed the desired floor number. The doors opened and he stepped inside. These elevators were much faster than the one on the Normandy and he was thankful. Once they opened Kaidan's thoughts returned to him and he and almost sprinted down the hallway. However, he saw Dr. Michel standing outside of a room. He was going to try to walk around her, but she waved him over. He took note to the number beside the door; B34.
"You're not supposed to be up here, Major Alenko," she said and crossed her arms. There was no way in hell that he had come all this way just to be turned around and sent away now. His jaw tightened and he lifted an eyebrow, challenging her. He was not going to be turned away. He was here to see the man that had saved his ass more times than he could count.
"Quite frankly, I don't care. I came to see the Commander," his voice was hard and unwavering. He stood his ground, his arms crossing over his torso, his muscles twitching as he exhaled his frustration.
The doctor shook her head and stared into Kaidan's chocolate pools. He was frustrated, concerned, tired, and anxious. She couldn't let him see the Commander, not with the condition that he was in, it would shake him up. Kaidan shifted and his eyes calmed, the fire that had been in them simmered.
"Come on doc...he was there for me when I was in bad condition, let me be there for him," his voice was void of all previous hardness. It was soft and pleading now. His determination had dissolved and his eyes were desperate. He needed to see him and the doctor sighed.
"Fine," Dr. Michel could see how badly that Kaidan wanted to see Commander Shepard and she felt her resolve falter. She stepped aside and let the major pass. He nodded his thanks and opened the door. Inside was not a beautiful sight. John was beat up, badly.
His left arm was in a cast, his chest was wrapped, there were incisions on several parts of his body, his right leg was in a sling and he had multiple cuts that were stitched shut.
"John," he breathed out and rushed to his side. "Commander, I...I don't know if you can hear me," he sat down and grabbed Shepard's hand. It was bruised badly, but not broken. He held it gently as he continued to speak. "But if you can, you better make a speedy recovery. I need you," he whispered before kissing the hand. "I love you."
Shepard's pulse quickened for a moment before settling back into its rhythm. Kaidan smiled and closed his eyes. Shepard's hand twitched and Kaidan involuntarily squeezed it. "You need to rest," he said tenderly as he opened his eyes, his chocolate orbs watery. John was in horrible condition, but he would stay with him, at least for tonight.
He was hoping that the others would give him tonight for himself and so far that seemed to be the case. The machines that had been hooked up to John buzzed and sighed. The beeping of the heart monitor signaled that he was relaxed, his blood pressure was surprisingly usual given the by far unusual circumstances. Kaidan leaned up and planted a chaste kiss on the Commander's forehead. The heart monitor picked up slightly and Kaidan smirked before sitting back down.
About an hour and a half later, Dr. Michel walked into Shepard's room. At first, she had all intentions of kicking Kaidan out, but then she saw how amorous and gentle that he was being, she checked his vital signs and got Kaidan a blanket out of the closet on the far side of the room. He gave his thanks and set it on his lap. Before she exited, Kaidan spoke up.
"Would it be alright if I stayed with him tonight?" it was harmless question and he knew that she wasn't going to say no. After all, she had just given him a blanket. That right there pretty much gave him his answer but he needed to hear the permission. There were only so many rules that he could ignore in one day and he didn't plan on breaking any that would damage Shepard's recovery time.
She paused for a moment, not sure if she should take this opportunity to get him out of the hospital. "Yes. But tonight only, Major," her voice was soft yet held authority. She gave one final look at the Commander and Kaidan before she shut the door behind her. It was nearly eleven at night and she was still there. She hadn't slept in almost two days. Turning to one of the nurses, the doctor yawned. "I'll be in the break room, make sure that I'm awake in two hours. I need to keep an eye on Shepard," she said before walking off.
Kaidan didn't think that he would be needing the blanket at first, but after the nurse had altered the temperature in the room and turned off the main lights, it got a bit chilly. He pulled the blanket up to his shoulders, but kept one of his hands on John's. His thumb stroked the Commander's wrist. He thought about their time on the Citadel when he had suggested the possibility of a relationship between them. He had never been in an actual relationship before Shepard. He had meaningless sex with women, just to do it, but with John, it felt different. It felt right, as if he belonged there, as if they both belonged there. Kaidan could feel his own breath slow and his eyes were growing heavy. There was another twitch of John's hand and Kaidan's face smoothed.
He didn't want to go to sleep, not yet anyhow. He forced his eyes open and watched Shepard's wrapped, battle worn chest rise and fall gently. His muscles shifted as he breathed, tightening and ebbing. It was like watching water hit against the shore, lackadaisically lapping the edge and receding with the same smooth motion. That's how it had been-for the most part- when they had spent their night together.
At first, everything was new and they explored one another. They became familiar with each other's body and then lust overtook them and took both of them to places that they never could have deemed possible. Kaidan recalled how pain was replaced by immense pleasure, more powerful and primal than ever before. John's hands on his flesh, his lips at his neck, and his voice whispering unspoken of things in his ear; all of them found themselves in Kaidan's mind. From there, it was a give and take encounter. Like waves lapping a beach. To say that the thought sent a chill running down his spine was an understatement. The electric current zipped through his body and he physically shook it away.
His attention snapped from John's chest to his face. He saw the commander's eyelids move and his jaw twitch. It was probably just a dream, but dreams were good. It showed that his mind was working. He moved the chair somewhat closer to the bed, blanket still on him, and ran his eyes over Shepard's features. They seemed more alive than earlier. Kaidan grinned and laced his fingers with John's. For a moment, he thought that the commander's hand had just twitched again, but Shepard's fingers held a weak grip on Kaidan's. The mouth under the oxygen mask moved slightly and the major's eyes lit up. Shepard's eyes opened for a moment, looked at Kaidan and then shut again.
"I'm here, John," he whispered, his voice altered due to the grin that was pulling at the edges of his lips. "Rest," he said and kissed their entwined hands, "I'll be here when you wake up." He leaned back in the chair, hearing that Shepard's heartbeat had returned to that of when he was sleeping and shut his eyes. A rush of calm washed over him and the grip on their hands loosened. He opened his eyes again, still determined not to sleep.
He looked around the room, noting that the moon had risen and poured its light into the hospital, illuminating Shepard's room through the window on the other side of the room. It was plain with white walls and a white ceiling. The floor was white with multicolored speckles on each tile. There was a door that he assumed lead to a restroom and a glass medical cabinet beside it. There were towels, wraps, blankets, bedpans, and a multitude of other medicinal supplies and he could tell that with the war stretching them as thin as they had, that the entire cabinet was designated to Commander Shepard. It was specifically for him. His eyes drifted back to the door that lead to the restroom and realized that he had to go more than he thought.
He relinquished his grip of Shepard's hand and set the blanket on the chair. Kaidan walked over to the bathroom, searched for a light, found it, turned it on and the door shut behind him. After relieving himself, Kaidan washed his hands and stepped out of the bathroom. Part of Shepard's body was enveloped in moonlight, the other part was lit from the small and dim lighting fixture above his head. Even though he was battered and looked like death, he was still handsome. His face, although cut and bruised, still held his dominant features, his sharp jawline and prominent forehead looked proud upon his wrecked body.
He leaned against the wall and observed Shepard for a moment and then walked over to the window. Outside there was a world of destruction and devastation. Most of the patients in this hospital reflected that and Kaidan pushed the thought aside. He looked up to see the ruined Citadel floating above Earth's atmosphere. It was an eyesore but eventually everyone would just have to get used to it. In a way, Kaidan found it funny. The Citadel was the avatar of galactic peace, and yet a human, one of the most detested species, saved everyone just above his homeworld. He assumed that Earth would now take on the symbolic representation of peace, considering that's where it happened.
Besides, there was no way that the Council could sweep Shepard or this war under the rug and for once, he didn't think that they would. Shepard had done too much for them when it would have just been easier to leave them to fend for themselves. That was another thing that amused him. No matter how much of a hard ass that Shepard could be, he always made the right call when it counted the most. Yes, he had made more than a few wrong choices, but what man has not? However, when it truly came down to galactic safety and tranquility, no one cared more than Shepard. There was a choice that Kaidan knew was made simply for the extra assets. The Geth. Shepard, although he befriended the one that called itself Legion, John still held them in a very low place in his mind. Kaidan never much cared for them either so their extinction hardly bothered him.
The major turned away from the window and returned to his place beside Shepard. He lifted the blanket and spread it over his body. His face turned and he fell asleep watching the Commander's breath. For now everything was peaceful, all was okay. John was alive and already showing signs of recovery. Kaidan kept his mind focused on the positive as he slipped into a deep, mostly dreamless sleep.